But the truth is that I am just in a funk.
The past 5 weeks, since the girls were born, have been the most trying time for me in a while. I think back to my emotions when I left them in the NICU at the hospital. I was devastated. Crushed. Fearful. That was hard. I wanted my family together in one place. 10 days later, I got what I asked for and we brought the girls home. Then reality set in. Life was crazy and I began to be seriously sleep deprived. This made me nuts. I mean for real. I was crazy. Finally, the girls started sleeping a little longer and that meant mama could sleep longer. Well, any of you nursing moms know this, but it's not good to wait too long to nurse your sweet baby - it can cause problems (I will spare you all the details). Needless to say, since I choose sleep over nursing many nights, I now have an infection (actually the second one) and am on antibiotics. I had to send Carson over to my parent's house for a few days just so I can recover. I spent all day today in bed battling a fever of 102.
Seriously?? I don't mean to be bratty, but I am in a funk! It might have to do with the fact that I have yet to sit down and open my bible. I need to do that. For real.
These past 5 weeks have been tough tough tough. But I wouldn't trade these precious baby girls for anything. And I definitely wouldn't give up my rambunctious 2 year old. I know life will get back to normal, but oh how I crave the normality that I used to have! I am ready to get out and see friends again, to attend worship at church, to go out to dinner, etc. I am excited about what life is going to be like with our family of 5, I am just ready for it to begin now!
All this to say, I am in a little bit of a funk. I know it will pass, but that's the truth.
17 comments:
i will be praying for you...just know it will get better.
ugh! infections are no fun though. get well soon!
Love you and your funky self. Praying for all to be well. Here for you!
Praying for you Callie!! Clearly...i am not a mom nor have i ever had "that" infection...mercy :) But i do know that you are one amazing mamma...you have what it takes...God totally equipped you...life isn't always easy, but God is ALWAYS good...He has a purpose for you in the "funk" times!!!
I am praying that you feel renewed and rejuvenated!!
Lots of love,
Joanna
I really am praying for you and have been thinking about you so much. Reading this brought back not so fun memories of what I went through with Addison....
I know that was just one and you're dealing with 3, but I totally understand the funk part and it does pass, but when you're there....it feels like you're never going to make it out. Love you.
It is hard. Just continue to hang in there, it will get better. Praying for you and your family.
Connie
Praying for you Callie! Prayer makes a world of difference (along with time and sleep of course). The infection is just making things worse. Hang in there and if worse comes to worse, some of the smartest people I know (like my husband) were 100% formula fed and they turned out quite nicely.
Oh friend, I would think that this time in your life is *supposed* to be insane, sleep deprived, painful, and chaotic. I don't know how it could be escaped. You've just had to dive right in and depend on God's grace as you bust through these tough early months. I'm sure that this time next year you will be so much in your groove and feeling like your old self that you won't even believe it. I'm praying right now for your physical healing and for God to give you guys some rest and fun in the next week.
It WILL get better, but sad to say it will never be "normal" again. Well, at least not like your old normal. You will have a new normal and you will be better and stronger for it, and your kids and your family will be blessed by it. Hang in there! Call me for anything. Believe me - I have either been there, done it, thought it, or wished it. I'm here for you!!
LOVED being with and your precious family today! Loved, loved, loved it! Call me anytime. I'll be right over...well, in an hour or so! Love you to pieces!
Callie! I'm praying for you, friend. I'm also going to store this one away so that when I'm in a "funk" I will know I'm not alone. Praying normalcy and fun comes sooner than later. If you need anybody to come sit and hold those babies, you have a handful of blog friends that would LOVE to. :)
I wish I could help!! At least you don't have 5 like in my dream right?? LOVE YOU GUYS! Can't wait to see you again!
Oh Callie! Part of it is admitting it to people, I think. I'll be praying for you friend.
I am a mom to twin girls and two precious kids I want you to know I can relate to what you are going through. My sweet girls are 8 months and it gets easier. I am praying for you. Hats off to you for breastfeeding too! I was only able to breastfeed for 4 months.
I know I don't know you, but I want you to know that I get what you're feeling. I had twins in March and I have energetic 2, 4 & 6year olds...it is hard, oh my goodness, it is HARD! I'll be praying for your "funk" to pass soon and for your infection to clear up fast!
Been a while since we spoke. Was happy to hear about your new addition(s) to the family. Wow, twins! I'm sure you are a wee bit stressed. Don't give up. You have a wonderful family supporting you. Go treat yourself to some dessert! Cheers! -Lee Ray
You need to add new pictures to the blog!! Thanks. Chris-Dawg
Sending warm wishes and lots of hugs. I know we don't know each other and I'm totally new to your blog, but mothers have to look out for one another, right? I hope that you're doing alright and that you are enjoying your time with your sweet little loves. (Congratulations!)
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