This morning I felt defeated. I was overwhelmed. My patience was gone. I was angry at everyone.
And it was only 8:00 AM.
It was going to be a looooong day.
But God's grace is good, and you know what? I made it through the morning. And the afternoon too. My kids are all taking naps and my house is completely silent.
I've had a few moments to sit and think about why I've been loosing my patience so often lately. To be frank, my attitude has been complete junk. It's as if an alien has taken over my body. It comes in, invades my being and makes me say terrible things.
Oh wait. That's right, I don't believe in aliens.
Crud.
It must just be me then.
Bummer.
Back to square one.
My attitude is crummy. So I sat down today and confessed it to the Lord. Asked for forgiveness and asked for grace. But then, I had to do the hard part. I had to ask that I would BE grace and forgiveness to my husband and children. That I would take joy in serving them and loving them. That I would love them as Jesus would love them.
Ouch. That was hard. Not because I don't want to do this. Oh, I want more than anything to do this. But because I know I am so very very guilty of letting my flesh get in the way.
I have a lot of wants. I have a lot of hobbies. I have a lot of passions.
And oh my word, I can be selfish.
But praise Jesus that He is everything that I am not.
That He can take my messed up attitude and change my heart.
That He can show me how to love unselfishly.
In the past 2 months, we've had a lot of change happening around here:
New Job - for ChrisNo Nanny - she moved back home to Minnesota
New House - hopefully we can sell the house we live in now!
New Adventures - managing summer with 4 little kids, keeping our house "show ready"
To be honest, I'm stressed out all the time.
But today, sitting here in my quiet house, I hear the Lord telling me So what?
So what if your house is on the market?
So what if you have 4 little kids?
So what if your time is not your own?
Look around!
Find me!
I'm not in all those things, therefore, you spending your time on all of them is not making you happy.
In fact, it's making you unhappy.
And grumpy.
And mean.
So fix your eyes on me.
I got you.
You are mine.
You have one agenda today; love your husband and love your children like I would love them.
That's your job for now.
That's what I want you to do today.
Stop comparing your life to others.
That will never make you feel better.
You have what you have because I have given it to you.
So that's what I'll do. I will walk in obedience today. But tomorrow morning my flesh will try to creep in again. And again, and again, and again.
And I'll have a choice to make. Allow my flesh to win, or choose to love like Jesus.
It's a constant walk friends, a constant walk.
32 comments:
what a great post!
such a great, and TRUE post Callie. I needed to hear it today as well.....and every day for that matter, so I'll probably be reading it again tomorrow morning. Miss you friend.
Thank you. You just gave me a big dose of perspective that I sorely needed.
lovely!
Great post, so true.
This post has really hit home to me. I have been a miserable mummy for weeks and this needs to change, and the only person who can change that is me. Its not the boys' fault that their daddy is serving in Afghanistan so there is no need for me to be miserable with them, in fact there is all the more need to be kind, gentle and loving. Thank you for reminding me. And any more meal plans?? ;-)
Thank you for this post. I've been struggling the past few weeks as a teacher and new wife with my house on the market. I have been short tempered and accusatory and I've lost sight of what is important. I am working at finding my way back, and I stumble, but finding women who inspire me to keep walking has been a great way to remember where I'm going and to try new ways to get there.
Thank you,
Sarah
so needed this...so needed the reminder and so needed to know that I am not the only one who acts/feels this way. I could have written the post. It's chaos here right now and I dare say that it is because my focus is off.
Jen
Thank you for this post. It is exactly what I needed to see. God has not only opened your eyes and heart today but those of many others through your testimony. May God bless you and your family.
Thank you so much! I have been having a really hard day today. That is just what i needed to hear.
Amen, sister.
Had a similar experience the other night. I blew up at my husband for something VERY trivial and he asked me what was REALLY bothering me. Ouch. That only got me more upset and I ended up in tears. I took some time to contemplate and then went back to talk to him. I told him I was sorry and I am so messed up and why does he choose to stay with me. He replied we are all messed up. ALL of us. He listed all the ways he messed up his life (way more than mine!) and I sat and asked myself .....if he was so messed up why did I choose to be with him and to stay with him and love him? I remembered that I saw the light of God in him. I saw his potential and the true being that GOD created and that I MUST remember he sees the same in me and GOD sees that in me and I am of worth. And tomorrow I will try again to be positive, uplifting and a force for good in the world.
Wow! I am so there! Next week my kids will be gone I think it might be time for a mini retreat to re-connect with God! Time to get horizontal! Thanks for the attitude check!
It takes a lot of courage to be this transparent. I have felt this way so many times myself. In fact I woke up this morning feeling "crummy". Thank you for putting things in perspective for me. I needed this today!
"You have what you have because I have given it to you."
Very well said. I'll try to keep that in mind, as my patience level is running a little low these days.
You have a beautiful family, by the way.
Just found your blog and I like it a lot.
Wow, thank you for sharing!
Me too. Thank you for sharing and for reminding me what God's heart is for us as moms of little ones. God bless you, honey. Know another mom is struggling too and trying to be in God's will, too!
Great post...even for a mom of older kids who is babysitting her granddaughter and is VERY tired and grouchy!! Good perspective on what it is the Lord really wants from us...our hearts...our focus....
which is hard in this world of ours!
Thanks
Thank you sooo much for this reminder!!! I too am failing Jesus! I will re-read your post every time I feel myself stumbling! Found your Blog from Pinterest because I was interested in saving money, instead I think you saved my life and my marriage! Your children are adorable!!!!
This is just what I needed to hear. So powerful. Thank you! You wrote: "You have one agenda today; love your husband and love your children like I would love them.
That's your job for now.
That's what I want you to do today.
Stop comparing your life to others.
That will never make you feel better.
You have what you have because I have given it to you"
Thank you so much for writing that and sharing that and being so honest. I can completely relate.
God is so good!
I just found your blog today. I think it's great, and what agift for your children.
I too needed to see this post. It is so easy to get distracted and focus on the wrong things. Yes, God is good. If we'd only slow down, quiet down, and listen to Him.
totally inspired me!!! I need to print out your "so what comments", mat and frame them, read them, and live by them everyday. I'm a new stay at home mom and don't quite know where I fit just yet, but these words brought me to tears. You know it's God when you get tears! Thank you for giving me the words I needed to hear!
I am going to copy and save the answer that God supplied you with and post it up in my house! What an amazing and fresh outlook and the reminder that i'm sure we ALL need! Thank you for this-I just learned about your blog today and I am already SO encouraged! God is Good!
Thank you so much for your post. I think every mom feels the way you have described at least once in awhile. Thank you for reminding me what my number one job is - loving my husband and children. I love your blog!
This hit me on a day where I needed this part more than you'll know: You have one agenda today; love your husband and love your children like I would love them.
That's your job for now.
That's what I want you to do today.
What a blessing to find your blog and that post.
Thank You for your post! I needed it!! :)
Thank you! First time reading your blog and this post brought tears to me eyes.
I have four children too (although one at a time.) When they were little, husband had a very stressful job with very long hours. There were times, mostly at the end of the day, when I had to stop and "put on" my patience. I would stay still, for just a moment, and imagine patience as a sweater that I wrapped around myself. And I would be better. And life would get better. Maybe it was really God I was wrapping around my heart. Thank you for sharing.
Wow. I visited your blog from Pinterest because I was interested in how you saved so much money feeding a family of 6 ( we're a family of 7 here). While I learned a lot, this post has taught me so much more, and I truly believe I read it for a reason. Thank you for helping me realize that I need to get back on track with God so I can get back on track with life.
I found your blog through pinterest on how to spend so little for your family meals. As I scrolled through, I found this particular post. This really spoke to me. I am a mother of 2, a 3 year old, and a 9 month old. My husband is the assistant pastor at our church. However, our church is only 3 years old, and cannot support us financially, so he also has to work a secular job at a factory. It's a very physically demanding job and he works 60+ hrs. a week, on top of his ministry work. I am a stay at home mom and there are days where I just feel like I'm gonna lose it. Sometimes I get just like you described; impatient, selfish, grumpy, and just plain mean. I don't like feeling like that. But what you wrote made me realize how much I need to focus on God. I do my devotions every day, but I've not been remembering to focus on Him throughout the rest of my day. I get so caught up in all the chaos and forget to look to Him. Thank you for that reminder. I hope and pray now that I can remember this thought, and ask God every day to help my love my family as He loves them.
Laura
I just found your blog on Pinterest and my life is similar in some ways( with the size of your family ) I have a 3 year old son and 18month old twin girls and I have been feeling defeated lately, I have never had anyone I could talk to that has the similar daily stresses. Would you be willing to give me some pointers? If so my email is mcmahon384@gmail.com
Lovely post and so true. To love others like Christ loves us is a hard job most days. Thanks for putting your heart out there and sharing with others.
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